i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
