it was like his penis was on wheels.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
