She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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