Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You could cut the tension with my nipples.