I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
