Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
