He felt like a one man threesome
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
