I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
