I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
