Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
