I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
