Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize