I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
