whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
