I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
