I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
