did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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