I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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