i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
