loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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