I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
