Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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