Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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