Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize