Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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