did you get engaged???
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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