wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
