you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
