so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
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the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
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I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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