Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
