You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize