Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
