I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
