Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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