im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
