do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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