don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
