i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
