But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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