Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
