You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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