you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
