Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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