so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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