I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
...so i touched it.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
