But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
