This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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