it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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