so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
