It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
