I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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