I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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