Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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