i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
