No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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