we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
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I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
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I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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