ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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