By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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