Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
