That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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