What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
