her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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