This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
