we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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