Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am spending my child support on dildos
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
