Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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