Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
