You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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