he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
